I Hope It's Not All Over...

Lord, I don't even know where to begin. Driving home from Fat Tuesday's, it was all I could do not to cry. I knew that this summer would be a great experience, but nothing prepared me for the NVWP Summer Institute. Yeah, yeah, I know that's cliche, but honestly, cliches came into existence for a reason. They were used to describe some universal truth, then people caught on and started using the phrase over and over and over again. All I can say is that right now, this particular cliche is 100% accurate.

What I already knew about writing was reinforced this summer. Authentic voice, writing across the curriculum, writing all the time, student choice: I decided to embrace these things after finishing my 695 class. That's the problem. I knew that these were things I wanted to strive for in my classroom, but God, how to actually implement them? Learning about these things is one thing. Trying to actually live the lessons? Holy CRAP!

The Summer Institute filled my head with more ways to implement these practices than I ever thought possible. Sometimes I think my brain will explode with all of the ideas playing bumper cars in my cerebral cortex. I hope it's not dangerous... But unlike the days following 695, something is different now about having all of these ideas; I know that my fellow 2007 TC's will be there for me when I have questions. They are the experts, but they are also my friends.

As far as working on my own writing is concerned, I don't think I really knew what was in store for me. I knew I would be writing, but I had no idea that it would be the only thing I wanted to do (besides teach, of course!). The encouragement I received on my writing was, to be honest, like crystal meth. Many apologies if this simile is offensive, but crystal meth has the ability to make an ordinary person an addict after one trip (and no, I do not know from experience, just from Dr. Phil). I became addicted to writing for an audience of writers after the very first writing group. I know that I will never need drugs as long as I have a pen, some kind of paper product (even a napkin will do), and someone that will humor me and let me share.

The Summer Institute has prompted me to go back to school and get my Masters in English. For some, this may not be all that "earth-shattering", but for me, it is tremendous. For years, I've told anyone that would listen that I had no desire to go back to school. To all those that heard me utter that phrase, I lied. Hopefully I'll be able to finagle my way into a graduate class in the fall and enroll in the Teaching of Writing and Literature program in the Spring.

I still feel like words cannot possibly begin to express how I'm feeling at this moment. I hope that all of my fellow TC's know how much I value them as teachers and as people. You are the ones that made this summer what it was: a life-changing experience.

Okay, I figured it out. Now that the Summer Institute is over, I feel exactly the same way I did when i finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I can always revisit the book (the series, for that matter), but it will never be the same. Perhaps that's a little dramatic, but who cares.

Don was right; I am ecstatic, yet full of sorrow at the same time. I know that we're not really saying "goodbye", but this quote from Annie sums up the end of the institute for me: "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

Thank God for my cat :)